Sunday, December 16, 2012

Thinking about the tragedy in Connecticut-Please pay attention to people outside your circles. I know what it is like to have trauma and and tragedy happen. No one was there for me and my family. People turned their backs on us. The effects and hurts have been a part of our lives indefinitely. It is so good to hear how their is so much support for the families in Connecticut. At the same time it hurts were on our own and learned to internalize and work it through on our own. Please watch out for others and be there for them, especially if your family is fairly healthy. Oh how I am hurting for those families!

Sunday, February 19, 2012


 Whitney Housyon died a little over a week ago. 

She sang love to Jesus-"the Gospel ."


I Look To You As I lay me down

Heaven hear me now
I’m lost without a cause
After giving it my all

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I’ve been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you,
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
aI look to you,
I look to you
And when melodies are gone In you I hear a song
I look to you

'bout to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm go'n make it
Nothing to do but lift my head


My levees are broken
My walls are coming down on me
My rain is falling
Defeat is calling
I need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me!


One meaning of perspective is "the way in which objects appear to the eye."



We all have different viewpoints or perspectives.   There are so many ways to see objects, regardless of how different they are they remain the same object.  Comparitively the way we understand what we hear, read or feel may seem different, but only because of our viespoints of life's history.
In relationship to God, there are so many aspects to Him that we can only take in so little at once.  Some people think their thinking is the right way and others think theirs is.  God's thinking is so beyond ours.  He is the Alpha and Omega.


Lately in church the topic has been about the Kingdom of God and today it included the righteousness of God. Some people think righteousness is relating to bad things people do such as what is morally right or wrong - and sometimes in particular to those outside the church.
The Bible says we are to  "SEEK THE KINGDOM OF GOD AND HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS ."  How different is it as we see righteousness and how God sees it.  Only God is righteous but we can be righteous because we have been given right standing with God through Jesus Christ.
Matthew 7:3
Jesus said  "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"
How responsible are we for the good or bad of others?  What difference can we make ro help others and ourselve to be and do better?  I think being a disciples of Jesus, His follower of His ways and His truths should be my goal

Wednesday, February 8, 2012


Paul said in his thou an example to the believers,,I was wondering this at first..why to the believers and not to the unbelievers we must be an example first? We can never be a blessings to the unbelievers, until we become an example to the believers means it was a packaged already.And there are only two things we can become of as a christian,,a blessings to others or a cursed.If we... confessed that we are christian and do not live like CHRIST then we condemn ourselves and we become a curse to other people instead of a blessings. If there is a contest that we are going to participate must be a contest of doing good to everyone,,showing love and helping other people in needs. Our works shows who we are more than our we know that our labor in the Lord will not be in vain.

   I have dealt with a lot of mental challenges throughout my life. Because I never had anyone to talk to I learned to internalize everything. Most recently I tried to make sense of some of the things with a couple of pastors the response was don't communicate with us anymore we will not answer your email. They purposely turned there backs on me. Years ago when I was trying to make sense I was kicked out of a church and accused of being demon possessed. Growing up I went through all kinds of loss and abuse (sexual and otherwise).  
   I grew up in a widow orphan family because my father was killed at work. Part of my experience in life was that Jesus came into my life immediately as soon as I could think because I heard he loved me. But at the same time I did not understand why people in the church turned there back on me and my family. No one bothered with us because we were a widow and orphan family.

    Another part of this is my mother was majorly mistreated by the Canadian system She was 19, pregnant and had 2 children under 3 when my father was killed. I believe the system did not want her to be a social burden they put her in a mental hospital, gave her electric shock, killed her baby and sterilized her

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

“Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”

Just came from seeing this movie. This is the synopsus from the websit...Adapted from the acclaimed bestseller by Jonathan Safran Foer, “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close” is a story that unfolds from inside the young mind of Oskar Schell, an inventive eleven year-old New Yorker whose discovery of a key in his deceased father’s belongings sets him off on an urgent search across the city for the lock it will open. A year after his father died in the World Trade Center on what Oskar calls “The Worst Day,” he is determined to keep his vital connection to the man who playfully cajoled him into confronting his wildest fears. Now, as Oskar crosses the five New York boroughs in quest of the missing lock – encountering an eclectic assortment of people who are each survivors in their own way – he begins to uncover unseen links to the father he misses, to the mother who seems so far away from him and to the whole noisy, dangerous, discombobulating world around him. I have to write it down now because a lot from the movie reminded me of my father and how I want connections from him. I remember trying to find people who knew him and ask them what they knew about him.

Monday, January 30, 2012

what a difference people who call themselfves Christians could make to making this a better world

My exerience in life is there are people who call themselves Christians yet they turn there back on people who come to them in need. When I was a little girl my father was killed. When we went to church no one would bother with us. In recent years and connected with a church in Aurora and was going through what happened to me as a child. When I tried to ask questions and make sense of those things I was accused of being demon possessed and kicked out. More recently I reconnected with people from the same church I again was black listed because I began asking if they could help me clarify some things. In the new testament church there were no needs and everything was shared. In this church if there is a need do they turn their backs on everyone as they did me? He said what you do to others you do to me! In the Bible Jesus said "For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ Then He got angry with those who turned their backs on the needy.